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i thought it was obvious by the word 'former', but it does make sence that they would both say something equally as dumb. :P

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i thought it was obvious by the word 'former', but it does make sence that they would both say something equally as dumb. :P
:?:

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Here's some I've been saving....

---------------------------------------------------

 

 

There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.

 

Failure: When your best just isn't good enough.

 

"For the man who has everything: A calendar to remind him when payments are due."

 

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others, they are more screwed up than you think.

 

Not all pain is gain.

 

Question: What did the blonde Klingon say?

Answer: "It was a good day to dye."

 

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose

 

"No one could hold a candle to him in this role. Well, maybe they could douse him in something flammable and *then* hold a candle to him." - Crow T. Robot.

 

"They're on our right, they're on our left, they're in front of us, they're behind us; they can't get away from us this time." - Chesty Puller, USMC, Chosin Reservoir, Korean War

 

"Marines don't die, they go to Hell and regroup!" - General Douglas MacArthur

 

"I have not failed. Ive just found 10000 ways that wont work." - Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)

 

Sex is like nose picking. It's fine as long as you practice it yourself, but it's disgusting watching someone else doing it. - Roald Dahl

 

The Sci-Fi fan's solution to debt: Reverse the polarity on your charge card.

 

Andor is a country in any atlas. Does that mean the inhabitants of the said country are "Andorrians"

 

I have a brain the size of a planet. It's not much good to me, however. It's on a different planet.

 

Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?

 

Fine: A tax for doing wrong. Tax: A fine for doing well."

 

"Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying."

 

Our first question is 'why is abbreviation such a long word?'

 

This abbreviation may just explain it, it is the world's longest abbreviation containing 56 letters: NIIOMTPLABOPARMBETZHELBETRABSBOM

ONIMONKONOTDTEKHSTROMONT Meaning: Laboratory for Shuttering, Reinforcement, Concrete and Ferroconcrete Operations for Composite-monolithic and Monolithic Constructions of the Department of Technology of Building Assembly Operations of the Scientific Research Institute of the Organization for Building Mechanization and Technical Aid of the Academy of Building and Architecture of the USSR.

 

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

 

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

 

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

 

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

 

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

 

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

 

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

 

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

 

Do you cry under water?

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

 

Did you ever stop and wonder......

 

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

 

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

 

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

 

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

 

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

 

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

 

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

 

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?

 

lol, I know that all to well. :P

 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

 

hmm.. :P

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i thought it was obvious by the word 'former', but it does make sence that they would both say something equally as dumb. :P
:?:
BWare, he's just following the crowd :wink: It's not his fault he doesn't want to research/think about these things :P

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A piece from Pandora Tomorrow in the cryogenics lab.

 

Lambert: That sounds like your next objective Fisher. Find us some French brains.

Fisher: I won't promise anything.

 

Oh dear.

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Cue: Irony Mode....

 

From a news article comparing IE7 & Firefox2...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/conte...6102800029.html

 

Internet Explorer 7 can also look out for "phishing" sites, the phony pages that impersonate banks and credit card issuers: If desired, it will check every new page against a blacklist of known phishing offenders, then block your access to any site on it. Meanwhile, IE 7 highlights legitimate financial sites that use encryption to keep out online snoops by putting a big lock icon in the address bar.

 

(It's a sad comment on the state of the Web these days that a browser's selling point can be how well it bars you from parts of the Web.)

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A piece from Pandora Tomorrow in the cryogenics lab.

 

Lambert: That sounds like your next objective Fisher. Find us some French brains.

Fisher: I won't promise anything.

 

Oh dear.

:haha::rofl: True, true

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"Tomorrow you all are gonna wake up in a brave new world. A world where the constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones created in a Stem Cell Research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags! Where tax and spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio and teach evolution to illegal immigrants! Oh, And everyone's high!" -Stephen Colbert, Midterm Midtacular

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Guest Auronguardian

"I want to find a vending machine that vends out vending machines, it would have to be REAL ****ING BIG!" - Mitch Hedberg

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very classic Cygnus X-1, very classic.

 

"And God said let there be light"

So he flicked the light switch.

 

:rofl: i created this joke back when i was 12 lol.

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God said "Let there be light" and....

 

- And Chuck Norris said "say please!"

 

- Ameren EU said "yeah, after lunch, ok?"

 

- Kane said "I AM the FUTURE!"

 

- Stalin launched a nuke

 

- Bart pulled his shorts down and mooned the world

 

the list goes on and on and on....

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Speaking of chuck norris, has anyone seen this?

 

That isn't funny its sad. ;)

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