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UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and cheesemongers'?

Contestant: Homosexuals.

Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

 

 

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.

Theakston: There's a clue in the title.

Contestant: Leicester.

 

 

BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: I don't know.

White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant: Arm.

White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?

Contestant: Strong.

White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant: Louis.

White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

 

 

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)

Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?

Contestant: France.

Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski: Just guess a country then.

Contestant: Paris.

 

 

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson:- Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what:- Prison, or The Conservative Party?

Contestant: The Conservative Party.

 

 

BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)

DJ Mark: For Pounds 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

 

 

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE

Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant: Goosey?

 

 

GWR FM (Bristol)

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

 

 

RTE RADIO 2FM (IRELAND)

Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The...?

Caller: Mohicans.

 

 

 

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)

Phil: What's 11 squared?

Contestant: I don't know.

Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the Middle.

Contestant: Is it five?

 

 

RICHARD AND JUDY

Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

A: Forrest Gump.

 

 

RICHARD AND JUDY

Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant: Er . . .

Leslie: He makes bread . . .

Contestant: Er . . .

Leslie: He makes cakes . . .

Contestant: Kipling Street?

 

 

LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?>

Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I'm sorry; I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

 

 

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Question: What is the world's largest continent?

Contestant: The Pacific

 

 

ROCK FM (PRESTON)

Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.

Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

 

 

THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end In 1918?

Contestant: Magna Carta ?.

 

 

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER ..ER .. Three?

 

 

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?

Caller: Japan.

Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er.... Mexico?

 

 

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)

Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

 

 

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO) Daryl Denham:

In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?

Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?

Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?

Contestant: No.

 

 

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant: Er . .. .

Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .

Contestant: Blimey?

Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .

Contestant: (Silence)

Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I .. . .

Contestant: Walked?

 

 

THE VAULT

Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant: Nostalgia.

 

 

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)

Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?

Contestant: Jewish.

Presenter: That's close enough.

 

 

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)

Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?

Contestant: Jesus

 

XD

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There are stupid people everywhere.

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yea but its british that makes its 10 times as funny

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see what i have to put up with daily? and their birthplace seems to be southend. it's full of inbred yokels and dunces o.o; also the height difference is staggering... the majority of people in southend are all under 5'... and every so often you get some random college kid who is over 6'4" XD; being 5'6" i'm one of the few people in the middle... just walking down the street you can see over everyone's heads and you see the occassional giant walking between them XD

anyway back to the intellect. home of the idiots... you get people walking infront of you (on a crowded street) then for no reason they will just stop. and chat... and as you try to walk, someone else does the same thing forcing you to walk in the road to get past -_-; and never give them shopping trolleys... my god... i can't believe these people passed their driving tests. it's like just because you're shopping you should lose your common sense >.<;

okie i'm done with my rant now. but funny funny stuff DD XD even being british, i love it! XD some of those were hilarious

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I hate Mina's rants, they're horrible to read and usually don't make sense. :P muahahhaha. :D

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BAKALAKALAKALKALAKA!!! I hate you ALL!!!

 

You will all die painful deaths!!! As soon as I get my Anthrax in the mail...

 

You know those damn rebels f*ck up the addresses and send them to the wrong people...

They always end up at senator's offices... and crap...

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Still too lengthy... you should have just done.... "Ih8u"

 

Typical I believe for a Brit of your Generation :P

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... since when was i typical? quit picking on me all of you :\ seriously i'm getting fed up with it...

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This thread was meant entirely as a joke. In fact, I got that FROM a Brit in the first place.

 

Lighten up, Mina. It's the Internet. Not serious business. ;)

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O rly? This is serious businesses!

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it's not the thread, i found that funny. it's the constant jabs at me >_>

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It's because you're more successful than they are. It's happened to me as well, which is why I don't reveal much information about myself.

 

Speaking of success, how is Freedom Studios doing?

Edited by Dr. Rodney McKay

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*sighs* successful yah... i'll remember that :\

...wow luk3us's life must really suck then X3;

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We poke fun at DD because its the thing to do. :P

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Speaking of success, how is Freedom Studios doing?

Been kinda slow lately. I think we need Luk3us to start spamming it up there. :P

 

*sighs* successful yah... i'll remember that :\

...wow luk3us's life must really suck then X3;

Yeah, Luk3us is a sad, sad little man who just spams forums all day. :P

 

We poke fun at DD because its the thing to do. :P

Bah.

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If you cast your eyes to the bottom of the forums, and see the top 20 posters, you will see I'm not even near the top.

 

I just post consistently over a long period of time, as opposed to posting many posts in a short period of time, commonly referred to as spamming.

 

Beside your all jealous of my uber post count anyway. I know how it is, but someone has to carry the burden of being so utterly pr0. :)

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Green is a terrible colour for you DD. :P

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Guest Rabbit
If you cast your eyes to the bottom of the forums, and see the top 20 posters, you will see I'm not even near the top.

 

 

post-2281-1211507899_thumb.png

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Just wait a few hours! :D

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