Place for all you aviation jokes!
Actual radio trasmissions -
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6
miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital
watches!"
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy,
your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles,
Eastbound."
United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say
this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start
clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must
speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a
German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak
English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful
British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of
active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to
a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are
going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our
gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird
206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it
was dark, -- and I didn't land."
Edwards Tower: AF Flight 234 please state the designation of you wing-man.
Flight 234: Uhh, tower. Were a single ship.
Tower: Ohhhh....you have traffic!