Aviation

[Tomahawk 0]

Place for all you aviation jokes!

 

Actual radio trasmissions -

 

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6

miles!"

Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital

watches!"

 

O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy,

your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles,

Eastbound."

United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say

this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."

 

Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start

clearance time?"

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must

speak in English."

Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a

German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak

English?"

Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful

British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war."

 

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of

active runway."

Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to

a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are

going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our

gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird

206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it

was dark, -- and I didn't land."

 

Edwards Tower: AF Flight 234 please state the designation of you wing-man.

Flight 234: Uhh, tower. Were a single ship.

Tower: Ohhhh....you have traffic!