My (new) book ... chapter 1

[Woofna 0]

I recently began to write a book called, "Carnage". It ended before it began because I had a weak plot going for it. I've recently began to attempt a new one, very very loosely based on the C&C universe, although if I change the name of GDI and change the Orca, it will be my own entirely. The plot contains no links to Tiberium, Kane, or the Red Alert occurences. Only the Orca, which I love, and the idea of a UNGDI-like entity, which is, for now, GDI. I have the first chapter now finished, but it gives away more of the plot than I want to, and it will be revised. This is the special first edition, I suppose. Read if you like, but it's kind of long.

 

I haven't found a name for this book yet. Open to ideas. Open to all kinds of ideas for the plot and everything though. I also need art for a lot of things, like the MAW, which is a Medium Assault Walker. Basically something like the Marine's Armor from StarCraft, but it looks different. I'll post scans of my shotty drawings later.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1:

"A powerless God"

 

GDI Secondary Headquarters

Somewhere in Britain

3:00 PM, August 23rd, 2012

 

Two guards kicked Nael Gollihugh into the center of this massive room. Nael took a look around. It was a large circular room, with no tables, no bookshelves, no nothing. At first glance you would assume the room was a library, temporarily cleared out. Nael knew it's purpose, and it was whimsical. Halfway up the wall in the northern "side" of this circular room was a set of mirrors. These, of course, were one-way windows. Inside these windows would supposedly sit the crusty old politicians that controlled the fate of whoever saw the reflective side. Of course ... they were really just mirrors. Somewhere else, there was a massive bulletproof window that was made to look like the rest of the blank, stainless-steel wall. Tricks, smoke and mirrors. This was the true nature of GDI, because GDI was a true leading organization. As such, they were truly tricks, smoke, and mirrors, literally and metaphorically. The purpose of this massive room alone was that a lowly traitor or terrorist would be sat in the middle as a booming, unseen and seemingly omnipotent voice interrogated him. This room was designed also to reverberate painful bass, making the booming voice literally booming. This room was designed to make someone feel insignificant. To break them. This room was all psychological. A waste on Nael merely because he understood it.

 

"Do you know why you are here?"

 

The godlike voice of General Hammill shot Nael in the head. Godlike only because of the seemingly millions of decibles it send into Nael's ears. Like a train going by. But trains are only so long, and their voice never lasts.

 

"Because I saved your ****ty organization."

 

Nael's own response made him laugh. In light of a god's voice, his human voice made him feel like a mouse. If Nael wasn't supposedly insane, he'd feel insignificant and scared like a mouse should. But he felt he could use his harmless appearance to his advantage. No one expects to be killed my a mouse.

 

"You have taken it upon yourself to launch all of our Orcas into the heart of the Neo-Chinese goverment." The voice boomed again. "Your airstrikes took the Chinese by surprise. I suppose it would be a surprise. China is, of course, a GDI ally. They would never expect revolutionary aircraft they helped to develop and fund to be their demise."

 

Nael decided his insignificant lungs had time now to interject their opinion.

"China's population is massive. And since China is not a complete totalitarian entity, they naturally wish to support their massive population. Chinese lands can no longer sustain said mass."

 

The booming voice again appeared. "Continue". Annoyed that they would assume he was waiting on them, Nael continued ...

 

"GDI is sending supplies, of course. The supplies never leave the dockyards they are dropped off on. The dockyard workers alone are hungry enough to devour shiploads. GDI's supplies are beyond insignificant. Basically, you are dropping off crumbs in the proximity of a massive anthill. The workers that pick up these crumbs will eat them before they even reach the hill itself. This illustrates China's situation for you."

 

"Meanwhile nearby countries flourish. Fat business men set behind desks signing papers, probably to create more manual labor for people eating less than they are."

 

"I recently noticed several things. China is now conscripting many of their population into "ex-military" bases to live a National Guard life. Soldiers are easy to feed and they are organized. You can control them, ration their food, and make them do what you need. This is supposedly why China is doing this. To support that theory, China is replacing their expensive GDI M-16 clones with cheap bolt-action rifles. I now know China is planning for a war."

 

The booming voice returned.

 

"So, China is hearding civiliants into NatGuard bases where, they receive basic discipline training, and China is downgrading their military. China is obviously putting the military lower on their list of priorities, now using it to manage their population. They even sold the GDI M-16s back to the United States where they were made, by the hundred-thousand. How does this make you think China is going to war?"

 

Nael sqeaked out his response to the "God".

 

"For ever M-16A5 China sells, they can create six new ****ty bolt-action rifles, which they will give to six barely-trained consripts. Naturally, six inferior infantry can generally flank and defeat a single well-armed and well-trained man. So they are truly upgrading their infantry by creating them cheaply and en-mass. Have you ever played StarCraft, general? Like, the Zerg?"

 

No response. God didn't care about video games.

 

"Well, China is basically making their entire population the military. This would be difficult to control unless the said military is quickly reduced. Do you get it yet? China's new military would outnumber any enemy, and while being poorly trained they'd suffer massive causualties. Half of China's population would die in a massive conquest. This means a smaller, more managable military population would occupy China, as well as they countries they would control. It's brilliant, really. A small and managable all-military population with twice the land. The final solution for China, though morally completely wrong."

 

The godlike voice returned.

 

"This theory justified your termination of the governent?"

 

Nael, egomaniacal as ever, began to yell at the voice. He stood.

 

"This theory justified moving a goverment out of the way for my own version of this solution! This theory justified planting many WMDs in China months beforehand!"

 

God was scared. He returned yelling to Nael, his massive speakers making his yell remarkably more effective. "You planted Nuclear devices in the Chinese territory? If you're so brilliant, you clearly know that nuclear action will start a world-annihlating war. You've always feared that war! Rightly so! What WMDs could possibly rectify this situation?"

 

Nael grimaced in his new headache. "Good point. I just wanted to let you know how easily I can lie and how easily you believe it. I planted no WMDs in China. And had I done so, I'd have used bioweapons that sunlight would eventually neutralize. Wipe out China's entire population and then days later move forces in to occupy the waiting land. Of course, still, dead bodies rot and cause disease. It would have been a dirty job. I know this because this was my first plan. But it seemed simpler to take out the King, from across the board, with a sniper rifle, than it would be to send my pawns against their pawns and eventually kill everyone. China is now under CUT control. Their pawns are MY pawns. The decentralized Russia is also under CUT control. The media-led United States too follow CUT."

 

God returned. "CUT? You are an agent of GDI. What the Hell is CUT? We've simply used you to to put the US and Russia under GDI control. YOU are OUR pawn. A charismatic general we use to take over countries with words and silenced guns. And now you think you have your own Army?"

 

God took in a breath and continued.

 

"GDI 'controls' China as well now! Though only you could have though of using the Chinese ORCAs against them in a flat-out act of war. We've been so stealthy and silent up till now. We walk up to goverments and kill them with a silenced pistol, or we talk them into being ours and then make puppets of them. We therefore control their clueless populace. You just walked up to one and punched him out in broad daylight. How will you get that government's followers to become your own, or our own, if they know you killed it?! You are a fool and nothing else. You may have ruined GDI."

 

Nael decided it was time for a speech.

 

"First off, China's population will follow me even though I am a murderer, because they are desperate. Now, I will explain CUT. The ... Coalition of Unified Territories."

 

Nael cleared his throat.

 

"CUT is the evolution of GDI. Or the death of GDI, I'll leave that up to you. I personally started and funded them. On paper, they are merely GDI forces under my command. In truth, they are my personal army. Every country I took for GDI is truly a member of CUT. And if I were to replace GDI's central command with my own, and change the name after it was done, GDI's original countries, the UN countries who devote their military to GDI, who CREATED the GDI ... would become ... mine. You see, many have argued that by controlling countries, GDI has gone too far. I believe GDI has not gone far enough. You can't just control countries and threaten the others to prevent world war. You need to flat out start another world war and prevent the use of nukes by starting the war on your terms. You need to ultimately control the world with an iron fist. Only through war can peace be gained. This is the purpose of CUT. This is my belief and my religion. And religions are contagious. And a few minutes ago you cut me off mid-sentence. I wasn't finished. Let me restart this, it feels so good to say anyhow!"

 

Nael began to valliantly yell at the God of the room. Again.

 

"China is now under CUT control! Their pawns are MY pawns. The decentralized Russia is also under CUT control! The media-led United States too follow CUT. So many countries are truly controlled by CUT while you sit behind your GDI flag believing they are yours. And so I may finish this ... "

 

If God's soft voice was so loud within this room, the sound of a gunshot occuring in the proximity of God's microphone was deafening. That gunshot told Nael that God was dead. So he wasn't really God.

 

"Britain too is under CUT control. It's good to be the king."

 

Nael added this in case the dethroned god, laying shot in the control room of this interrogation, could still hear him. He wanted Hammill to know that it was Nael who'd killed him. It was CUT who'd killed him.

 

Silence. Nothing. Minutes later, the "GDI" guards that had kicked Nael into the room escorted him out.

 

"Hildum ... that kick wasn't necessary. I don't even think Hammill thought it was funny."

 

The CUT guard smirked at Nael. "It's good to kick a king. Makes me feel special."

 

In truth, Hammill, the supreme leader of GDI, was the most clueless to its' situation. GDI had already been overthrown. He and the highest echelon were the last to go, and they went peacefully. GDI was now Nael's CUT. As it had been, before Nael even took out China. Nael would now begin to take the world, starting the most massive World War in history, ironically in the name of peace. Nael was already seen as a messiah by some. He was seen as the antichrist by others. He personally saw himself as a true, competant leader, in the absence of others. There were no longer and George Washingtons. No longer any bold and brilliant charismatic leaders. The world was filled with empty politicians. Nael was just a good leader who happened to be born into a void of said good leader. As such, he decided he wanted to rule the world.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2:

"Gray Area"

 

Yeah, I didn't write this yet.

[TheBlackOut 7]

bumped cuz im afraid no one else will! D:

 

i really don't reading stuff, I usually go to sparknotes for help on english stuff. but i know others will probably enjoy this if they see it

[Woofna 0]

Bumped because it can be

 

Man, I hope this doesn't get locked.

[TheBlackOut 7]

Bumped because it can be

 

Man, I hope this doesn't get locked.

 

Lol, guess everyone is like me, lazy.

[F15pilotX 4]

didn't see this now b/c of all those stupid games >_>

 

Very interesting...I like...especially the part about the orcas

[Woofna 0]

Sorry if I'm reviving an old thread, please don't lock it, it is mine after all. But I was gonna post a new thread since I'm going back to work on this book and figured I may as well use the old one.

 

So, I've just pulled this book back out, massive schoolwork prevented me from really doing anything with it. Does anyone have any suggestions? It could be something I do here on CNCNZ, and you could all have a say in it, and be accredited if by some accident I get a publishing deal.

 

Any ideas? Suggestions? Feedback? Bashing? Open to anything.