The Almighty List of StarCraft Players

[Doctor Destiny 41]

The Incredi-n00b - It's a wonder they can use the computer, let alone play StarCraft. They've made it online due to a sheer miracle and they proceed to join a game asking stupid things like, "Do cheats work?" or "Can we play against one AI?" After some miracle, they actually get to play a game. If they have not asked any questions, they proceed to type in a cheat and then complain that it doesn't work. Often leaves in the middle of games when they can't get 10000 minerals and gas. Also leaves when six Zerglings attack their whopping seven miners. You're an idiot. Stop now before you hurt yourself. You have the IQ of a retarded chimp.

 

Money Mapper - Constantly plays money maps against the AI or in n00b games on the same maps. Always Fastest Money or No Clutter v2; never a monied version of The Hunters or BGH. After unkowlingly entering a real game on a non-money map, they proceed in with lame comments after the game starts. Most common saying: "omg! the minerals aren't staked! you hackers." Then they leave. Play real maps you pussies. They require SKILL. I guess learning isn't your strong suit, now is it?

 

The "HaX0R" - Will claim he can give you a virus or hack your computer. Often says this on money maps while getting obliterated. Most commonly disconnects if not winning. Don't be so goddamn stupid. Learn the game before you try to play against real players.

 

The Impatient Child - ALWAYS starts in with the repetition of 'go' line after line and novel after novel. Eventually turns the chatbox into nothing more than him screaming go. Often times he is downloading the map and incredibly slowly at that. Proceeds to whine about others downloading even if he is the only one downloading. Patience is a virtue. But that's not something you're terribly acquanited with, is it? Stop being such a ****ing idiot and PAY ATTENTION. You see the little numbers? They MEAN something dumbass.

 

The Asshole Host - Boots you if you do not have the map he has. Most often happens on UMS games when a new version comes out and you do not yet have it. Most often calls you a n00b then proceeds to boot you. Well listen asshole, I don't have the new version and maybe I don't want to play your rigged-ass version. Well a thousand pardon for having a life outside of StarCraft. I might not have the new piece of **** version but I already know how to play asshole.

 

The Twleve Year Old - The most annoying thing ever spawned. Often plays nothing but newb games and comp stomps. Always begins with rude, childish insults like 'yo mamma', 'your gay' or something else along those lines. Is often called a n00b and he proceeds to bash the one who called him a n00b nonstop. Always has a stay alive hack so he can torment and spam your game long after being defeated. Quite commonly backstabs. One phrase: Shut the **** up.

 

The Backstabber - Plays NOTHING but comp stomps and backstabs each and every one. Is almost always Protoss so he can barricade in with cannons and amass a Carrier force. Can usually be identitified easily and can be destroyed early before he attacks his team. He is the scourge of Battle.net; even more so than the Twelve Year Old. Though it is very gratifying to have everyone gang up on him at the end of the game. All I can say is one thing to you dickheads: GO THE **** AWAY. You ruin games and you don't know how to play the game. Why you ****in pussy.

 

The Clanmates - Never fight one another. Even in free for all games, they tend to ally together. They're often backstabbers as well. They ruin all good games by attacking the last remaining player after he has exhausted his troops battling his enemy. Will often give the clanmate a miner of their species if one is Protoss. Most often plays money maps and are usually complete, utter ****heads. Oh I'm sorry, I thought this was a free for all, not 'let's be ****ing pussies and ally'. Play against each other sometime. Who knows, you might get some skills so you don't have to ally like ****ing pussies.

 

The Wannabe Expert - Claims to know everything when in reality he knows little. Most likely never finished the single player without cheating on every level. Plays a lot of money maps and never strays from No Clutter maps. Most times, they're horrible players that cannot stop a simple 2 Zealot rush. You suck. Shut up.

 

The Lagger - Always lags no matter what. Even on high speed connections, he still manages to lag the game to a near crawl. Is often a repugnant looking/smelling asshole who is downloading porn off Kazaa or some other such network. ALWAYS inisists he's not lagging even after the lag box shows his name. Also known to have 14.4k connections. Stop downloading porn or buy a new modem. You're holding me up Jack. I have **** to do; I don't feel like waiting on your slow ass.

 

Yes, written by me. Enjoy.

[Publix666 0]

hmmm...i thought this was for the ppl who play Starcraft to post their Bnet names :?:

 

well anyway..i agree with all of that said above......i dont stray to far from UMS b/c i absolutly suck a melee...and ill admitt it I SUCK AT MELEE...anyway.....i guess...if yall want to start something to where we all play together heres my Bnet name on SC:BW on east of course

 

Halo_Lekgolo

 

see yall online...peace bros

[Wildshield 0]

Ah yes, this brings back some memories. Though I'm no expert against playing against humans nor do I whine when I lose. But those players who fit those category's ruin the most balanced game out there. Every game has it... TA, C&C, Diablo, WC... and so on. You would wish some of the games marked mature or have the need to use the brain would have those who understand that playing. Might be why I don't play it online no more.

[Luk3us 63]

Back in the day. The old days... ahh... Fond memories... There were people just like that... As others have said they ruined the game..

 

Damn.. I feel like playing brood war right now.. :(

[Guest MadBadger]

Im sure i started a post with the same general idear but conected it to ZH which all the above aply to ZH players. Oh well time to go garbage searching.

[BlixQuoy 0]

I take the 12 year old comment offensively. I'm twelve and i act absolutely nothing like that. I am an inteligent human being and this is the first time i have ever said "yo mama", because i think that phrase is completely stupid and grammaticaly horrible. So next time you speak of all twelve year olds being repundant jackasses remember me. Thank you.

[BlixQuoy 0]

But hey. Then again the *cough* document *cough* was really funny. Good job.

[Guest Rabbit]

gotta admit, ive done a few of those things...

[Publix666 0]

well Blix most 12 year olds are like that..and its good to see your balls have dropped and uve grown up..j/k..but seriously i hate playing with them type of ppl/kids

 

oh luk3us nice sig :wink:

[Doctor Destiny 41]

I take the 12 year old comment offensively. I'm twelve and i act absolutely nothing like that. I am an inteligent human being and this is the first time i have ever said "yo mama", because i think that phrase is completely stupid and grammaticaly horrible. So next time you speak of all twelve year olds being repundant jackasses remember me. Thank you.

It's a generalization and not exactly aimed at 12 year olds. It's a joke, playing on a 12 year's (usual) lack of maturity.

[Acerz492 1]

It's very fun to mock 12 year olds in general, Fenring :wink:

[Publix666 0]

and yes it is fun to mock them..lmfao....my sister is like 11.....andits a sport to piss eachother off...all she has to do is touch my sk8 board and im off like a rocket...lmfao..and my sister is a whiny 11 year old...so theres multiple ways to piss her off