The modern rules of advertising?

[chickendippers 1]

A list from the BBC Magazine about a list of seemingly unwritten rules which might as well be the Advertising Bible.

 

 

1. Men are obsessed with sex but will forego sex in order to watch football or drink beer.

 

2. Women are locked in a constant battle with their weight/body shape/hairstyle.

 

3. Career success is entirely based on your ability to impress your boss.

 

4. Mums are often harassed but NEVER depressed/unable to cope.

 

5. Any act of male stupidity (e.g. walking across a clean floor in muddy boots, putting the dog in the dishwasher, etc.) will be met with a wry smile, not genuine annoyance/anger.

 

6. Married men will flirt with other, younger women but NEVER act upon it.

 

7. Anyone with a scientific career will have a bad haircut and dreadful clothes.

 

8. If you work for the emergency services, you are a better person than the general population.

 

9. Elderly relatives NEVER suffer from senile dementia.

 

10. Scandinavians are, without exception, blonde and beautiful.

 

11. Women have jobs they never do in real life, e.g. dockworker (who looks like a model).

 

12. Children will not eat fruit or vegetables. Ever.

 

13. Both men and women find driving deeply pleasurable, never boring or stressful.

 

14. Men are inherently lazy/slobbish; women are the reverse.

 

15. Chocolate, however, will cause women to immediately fall into the languor of the opium eater.

 

16. High Street bank staff are (A) friends of the customers, and ( of slightly above-average attractiveness (only if female).

 

17. Modern men own a cat.

 

18. Hot beverages have miraculous rejuvenating effects.

 

19. Professional people have strangely trivial preoccupations, e.g. a female barrister who is morbidly obsessed with finding a healthy snack bar.

 

20. All women (except stay-at-home housewives) have interesting and enjoyable careers.

 

21. Any over-the-counter medical product will work instantly and 100% effectively.

 

22. Children know more than adults.

 

23. Women never merely hop in and out of the shower, instead preferring to act out some sort of soapy Dance of the Seven Veils.

 

24. School is a happy experience for all children.

 

25. Tortilla chips are the most exciting experience any group of young people can experience.

 

26. Playing bingo is THE number one pastime among 18-25 year old British women.

 

 

I laughed so much when I read this.

[Luk3us 63]

Yep.. That sounds like life around here most of the time...

 

lol.. Nice find ChickenDippers.

[MICHAEL1 0]

YOU JUST DESCRIBED MY WORLD.IN SHORT!NOW PLS GET TO MY QUESTUION PLS HAHA.LOL. JUST KIDDING.

[Guest MadBadger]

1. Men are obsessed with sex but will forego sex in order to watch football or drink beer

 

 

 

coff coff BUUUUUUUUULL SHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEE

i dont aggree w/ 1/2 of em and this one the least....... turn down sex for footie and beer? why cant you do all 3? when you need your thing for drinkin or watchin tv?

[Guest Rabbit]

Wow MadBadger... I'd like to see you try all three at once... No, wait... NEVER MIND!!!

 

 

Anyway, I do have to agree with some of this... it is pretty funny... I did eat vegetables, but not fruits... Hell, I still eat vegetables and not fruits... wow, that thing is prettty true...

[Guest MadBadger]

how hard is it?

 

hold drink in one hand.

 

look over her sholder at tv

 

use ur imagination....

 

6. Married men will flirt with other, younger women but NEVER act upon it.

 

soooo whats the #1 cause of divorce again? something about men meeting yonger women.....

 

9. Elderly relatives NEVER suffer from senile dementia.

 

ummmm....... so ...... my gran calling me william and my sister dasy isnt dementure?

 

12. Children will not eat fruit or vegetables. Ever.

 

i can remember eating them..... and so do my likle cousians

 

 

14. Men are inherently lazy/slobbish; women are the reverse.

 

what about fat women?

 

24. School is a happy experience for all children.

 

compleate and total crap.

 

25. Tortilla chips are the most exciting experience any group of young people can experience.

 

i can think of one or two other thinks a group of young people can do........... like parachuting.... or that thing you pervs were thinkin i would say :lol:

[chickendippers 1]

The idea; it's that's what life's like in adverts!

[Guest Rabbit]

Wait... is that really an advertizement?

[Cygnus X-1 12]

its hilarious

 

Brit comedy. ya gotta love it

[Doctor Destiny 41]

Dry but mildly amusing. It got a lol here and there.

[Cygnus X-1 12]

its better than cheesy american comedy

 

except for Bob and Tom

 

ya cant go wrong there :wink:

[Doctor Destiny 41]

Family Guy > all comedy.

 

American comedy is great... no thinking involved.

[Cygnus X-1 12]

but a lot of it is very stupid.

 

however.....

 

You cant Beat Family Guy or the Simpsons.

 

classic 8)

[Doctor Destiny 41]

Stupid is the name of the game. That's what makes it so great. Who doesn't love a great fart joke or a sex joke? xD

[Guest MadBadger]

Catholic priests? .... unless its about Quoir boys hada say that srry.

[Guest Rabbit]

What about a Jewish Church?

[Cygnus X-1 12]

Catholic priests? .... unless its about Quoir boys hada say that srry.

 

thats not funny.

 

now this is funny :lol: :lol:

[Luk3us 63]

Ahh.. The old Catholic church and their ministers.... hehehe...

[Cygnus X-1 12]

yo urealise thats its only like 1 out of ever 1500 thats doest that shiit

[Luk3us 63]

I laugh at all things bad that happen to the Church... Even if it is in a tiny percentage..

[Doctor Destiny 41]

I do too. I find it amusing that so many can't obey simple rules. :roll:

[Cygnus X-1 12]

i think its stupid. the church is the bigest hypocrite after ploticians.

[Luk3us 63]

I thought you like zee Church..

[Doctor Destiny 41]

Following a faith and going to Church are two different things.

[Cygnus X-1 12]

Following a faith and going to Church are two different things.

 

finally some backup on that idea

 

Faith and religion are 2 entirely seperate things

 

and I for one am about fed up with the church and its religion