yay for cheesy jokes!

[Doctor Destiny 41]

 

1 Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

 

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

 

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

 

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

 

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

 

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

 

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well, It's Not Unusual."

 

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

 

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at, either.

 

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

 

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

 

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

 

13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

 

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

 

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

 

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

 

 

 

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

 

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal"

 

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

 

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did

[Guest MadBadger]

:tired:........ :| .......... mmmmm .......... baaaa ........... :lol:

[Luk3us 63]

Can I have my minute back for reading those now Fenring? :|

[Doctor Destiny 41]

Can I have my minute back for reading those now Fenring? :|

NO! It's mine! Mine forever!

 

[Tree 0]

There were two l33t muffins in an oven. One muffin says "OMG, it is liek f'n hot n heer." The other one says "OMG, A TLAKIN MUPHIN"

[Cygnus X-1 12]

This forum's IQ level has droped another 30%

 

How much did a Pirate pay for his earings?

 

A buck an ear ! :wink:

[Tree 0]

A man was sitting next to his wife who was about to give birth. Suddenly, she started saying "ISN'T DOESN'T WON'T YOU'D SHOULDN'T COULDN'T WOULDN'T!" Frantically, the guy called a doctor who replied "Oh, she's just having contractions."

[Sonic 296]

This forum's IQ level has droped another 30%

Hey, speak for yourself man :lol:

[Cygnus X-1 12]

Speak for my self. Very well then.

 

Earlier today I stared at a can of juice

 

why?

 

The can label read "concentrate" :wink:

 

Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.

 

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.

 

Two ropes walk into a bar. The bartender says to the rope "Hey! we don't serve ropes in here" so one of the ropes left. The other rope frayed up his hair and tied himself in a knot. The bartender said to the rope "Are you a rope?" and the rope said " I'm afaid not"

 

Why was the Tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing.

 

A mom dad and baby tomato are walking down the street and the baby starts to lag behind so the dad goes back and smashes the baby and says "ketchup"

 

3 old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three"? "274" was his reply. The doctor says to the second man "It's your turn. What is three times three"? "Tuesday" replys the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "OK, Your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine" says the third man. "That's great" says the doctor. "How did you get that"? "Simple" says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday"

 

A termite walks into a barroom and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

 

How do you catch a squirrel? Climb into a tree and act like a nut..

 

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he had no guts!

 

ect ect...

[TheBlackOut 7]

I didn't even bother to read.

 

Read the first one and I was, "Oh boy, all these jokes are like that rated "rrrrr" pirate joke".

[Inferno 22]

Now for a good joke:

 

It's in your car and it can't drive.

A car radio.

 

 

A good joke to me is just a joke that's so damn pointless, that you HAVE to laugh about it.

[Tree 0]

How many pancakes does it take to get to the moon?

 

Bicycles don't have windows.

[Cygnus X-1 12]

A Woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle :wink:

[TheBlackOut 7]

I think the cheese is getting really moldy now.

[Guest MadBadger]

I think the cheese is getting really moldy now.

 

 

YA RLY? :rockbrow:

[Cygnus X-1 12]

Badger, you need to go to tagging 101 again :wink:

 

Why did the frog cross the road?

 

Who cares? Why didnt the frog cross the road?