Doctor Destiny 41 Posted March 6, 2006 Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it ju! st doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right? Customer: Yeah.... Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using? Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen..... Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry.... Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it! Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine." Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!! Share this post Link to post
Luk3us 63 Posted March 6, 2006 Although they're all old as hell, they're still good. Share this post Link to post
Riparius 0 Posted March 7, 2006 Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.Customer: OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Thats good, real good :lol: Share this post Link to post
Guest MadBadger Posted March 7, 2006 Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.Customer: Your left or my left? the old ones are the best Share this post Link to post
Acerz492 1 Posted March 7, 2006 This is why stupid people shouldn't use a computer. I feel sorry for the techies. Share this post Link to post
Inferno 22 Posted March 7, 2006 Just when you think no person on earth can be any dumber than someone, you're always wrong. This the proof. Share this post Link to post
Acerz492 1 Posted March 7, 2006 Oh you'd be suprised mate. For example, there are people over here that think that getting an education is wrong, and therefore they raise their kids with the same line of thought. :roll: Share this post Link to post
Guest MadBadger Posted March 7, 2006 Just when you think no person on earth can be any dumber than someone, you're always wrong. This the proof. hrmmm...... when was the last time you went to ANY city center at kicking out time? theres your idiots to laff at. P.S. I can get hammered and still be able to walk around without stumbling like some blind man. Share this post Link to post
Acerz492 1 Posted March 7, 2006 Oi, don't get me started. At the moment I'm putting up with a teacher who is teaching us the importance of English in Communications, yet she ****ing can't speak english properly herself. And every once in awhile she stops the class and says stuff like, "Okay class, now I'm showing you respect now you must show me respect because I am the teacher" and blah blah blah... THIS IS A FRIKKIN' TERTIARY INSTITUTE! Share this post Link to post
Inferno 22 Posted March 7, 2006 I got some pretty dumb situations , myself. First, our English teacher can speak only German without having difficulties. And I go to a Dutch school! Second, once our science teacher came in and asked us to explain a certain paragraph, because he didn't get it himself :? You can guess the test about that subject wasn't made very well. Share this post Link to post
Acerz492 1 Posted March 7, 2006 Tertiray institutes are -very- different from secondary schools mate. Share this post Link to post
Guest MadBadger Posted March 7, 2006 Oi, don't get me started. At the moment I'm putting up with a teacher who is teaching us the importance of English in Communications, yet she ****ing can't speak english properly herself. And every once in awhile she stops the class and says stuff like, "Okay class, now I'm showing you respect now you must show me respect because I am the teacher" and blah blah blah... THIS IS A FRIKKIN' TERTIARY INSTITUTE! no idear WTF 'TERTIARY INSTITUTE' means but there are alot of..... dense teachers out there. Share this post Link to post
Acerz492 1 Posted March 7, 2006 Tertiary Institute = University mate. Or in my case, MIT. Share this post Link to post
TheBlackOut 7 Posted March 7, 2006 Teachers in my school district are pretty educated.... Share this post Link to post
Guest MadBadger Posted March 7, 2006 Baaa no dense teachers means your a Posh Gimp J/K Share this post Link to post
Acerz492 1 Posted March 8, 2006 Fenring, any more stupid people stories from your neck of the woods? Share this post Link to post
Cygnus X-1 12 Posted March 8, 2006 I've got some stupid stories, but they aren't very funny (especially from my standpoint) Those are good Fenring, real good. Share this post Link to post
Tree 0 Posted March 8, 2006 Sounds like an experience I have on daily basis. Them: Hey, I got a problem, can you fix it? Me: Most likely, explain a bit more please. Them: Well, it's my first time sending an email. I got the 'a', but how do I get the circle around it? Me: You push Shift and then the "2" key Them: It didn't do anything except put in a 2 Me: Well, keep trying. Maybe something different will happen this time. *Click* This is why I teach classes that I think are only fit for the mentally retarted to teachers. "This is the power button." :roll: Share this post Link to post
Acerz492 1 Posted March 10, 2006 While not really related, here is an example of the things me and my friends on WoW have to deal with: (Wailing Caverns 5-man Instance) Amaaya (one of our Rouges, and our group leader): "Jard, stop running off! You're pulling too many monsters!" Jard (our Warrior (or Tank)): "I can handle them!" *dies* Mojara (our Priest): "Oh jeez..." Half an hour later, our Priest (Mojara) was killed. We all told Jard to stay put while we wait for her to find her corpse (and thus revive). Predictably, he didn't. While Amaaya and our Hunter managed to survive, Myself and Jard did not. See, when he attacked the monster, HE PULLED IT RIGHT TOWARDS ME, forcing me into combat. So, after myself, Jard and Mojara had all revived, we came across a monster who had not seen us, and Amaaya announced that the instance was a dud. Mojara teleported herself back to the safety of a friendly city, saying to Jard that he MUST NOT ATTACK THAT MONSTER otherwise he'll die, again. I stayed for a little bit while I sorted some items out. He attacked that bloody monster. He died. I ran away and teleported myself back to Ogrimaar. I told Mojara this. She was absolutly dumbfounded. You'd think he would've learned the first 3 times. But nooooo! :roll: The kicker? He's probably added us all to his friends list, so that he may tag along the next time we attemped the Wailing Caverns. >_> Share this post Link to post
Guest MadBadger Posted March 10, 2006 He's probably added us all to his friends list, so that he may tag along the next time we attemped the Wailing Caverns. >_> Okay can you BLOCK him? or if hes that much of a n00b, lead him somewhere you can attack each other (dunno if it exists) say your on a quest and theres loads of gold....... then you and your mate 2 team him and raid him for all he has he wont wana know you then :lol: Or next time before he attacks the monster ask him what he has in his inventory, Tell him to give you his most expensive thing (look at all his gear you select what you want and ask for it), tell him its attracting the monster and to give it to you. when he dies its yours then just ignor him. Share this post Link to post
Acerz492 1 Posted March 10, 2006 Thanks for the idea Madbadger, buuuut it dosen't really work that way. We'd only be lowering ourselves down to his level, and there is also a chance that your account can be suspended for harrassing other players in that sort of manner. And yes, PvP servers exist, but we're all members of the Horde. We can't attack each other. As for blocking? There is an ignore function, but we only use it if it's really needed. There are much worse people on WoW than this guy. ... You play too much WoW :!: So? Share this post Link to post