Funny Quotes

[rEdaSbLood 1]

BWare can we have a spell and grammar check on that V FOR VENDETTA quote? :lol:

[BWare 0]

BWare can we have a spell and grammar check on that V FOR VENDETTA quote? :lol:

Umm... I think I'll just take your word on that one :shock:

 

[rEdaSbLood 1]

 

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for

 

And so faith is closing your eyes and following the breath of your soul down to the bottom of life, where existence and nonexistence have merged into irrelevance. All that matters is the little part you play in the vast drama....

the greater your doubt the more heroic your faith....

 

 

i really like the hope one...

[Guest Rabbit]

In a chat room I saw.

 

Chatter 1: "It's impossible to argue with an ignorant person"

 

Chatter 2: "no its not, dumass"

[F15pilotX 4]

You just love IM, don't you

[rEdaSbLood 1]

lol id like to apologize because my quotes weren't funny...maybe in an ironic way...but i fergot they were suppose to b funy sorry...still good ones though

[Renamon 0]

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

 

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

 

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'.

[Cygnus X-1 12]

I love that last one :lol: :lol:

 

heres a more serious one

 

"I'm going to start by saying three things, 1. 30,000 children died last night due to malnutrition, 2. Half of you don't give a ****. 3. Most of you are more worried that I said **** in church than you are about the 30,000 children that died."

[Guest Rabbit]

Serious? That was funny too.

[Luk3us 63]

haha. Nice one, Cygnus and Fenris.

[Cygnus X-1 12]

Wait, so you think its funny that 30,000 children died of malnutrition last night.

 

You're sick minded.

[Guest Rabbit]

People die all the time. Plus, those numbers are too high. If 30,000 people were dying every day, then, we'd eventually die out.

[Luk3us 63]

Anyways...

 

Video games don't ruin kids. If Pac-Man ruined us as kids, we would all be running around in darkened rooms, eating "magic" pills and listening to repetitive electronic music. Hey, wait. That is true!

 

 

Some of you may not like this one...

 

Suicide is our way of saying to God, 'You can't fire me, I quit!'

[TheBlackOut 6]

Anyways...

 

Suicide is our way of saying to God, 'You can't fire me, I quit!'

 

Brillant in a weird way. :lol:

 

Hypno.. People die all the time.. Yes.. Doesn't mean you don't have to give a ****.

[Cygnus X-1 12]

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. -- Roseanne

 

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. -- Franklin P. Jones

 

If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body...then only left-handed people are in their right minds. -- Anonymous

 

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. -- Sam Levenson

 

It's been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt, and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. Now I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. -- Rodney Dangerfield

 

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. -- Charles Schultz

 

What is the use of lying when the truth, well distributed, serves the same purpose. -- Unknown

 

Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened. -- Winston Churchill

[F15pilotX 4]

If the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body...then only left-handed people are in their right minds. -- Anonymous

 

It's been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt, and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. Now I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. -- Rodney Dangerfield

those two are great

[Tree 0]

Funniest SNL skit ever.

 

Harry Caray: Hey everybody, Harry Caray here! Well, as you know, 1997 was quite a year! A lot of things happened: some good, some bad. Mother Teresa died. That wasn't good. Unless you hated Mother Teresa. I, myself, was not a fan of hers, don't ask why! We were like oil and water; we didn't mix. In the world of sports, Mike Tyson bit a man's ear off. I don't know what all the hoopla was about. I've actually bit a man's ear off on several occasions! And I'm not proud of it, but it helped me out of many a jam! In Scotland, they cloned a sheep, which a lot of people thought was fun....Hey, what if...hey!...Hey! If I was a scientist, you know what I would clone? Hot dogs!

 

Colin Quinn: [not surprised] Really?

 

Harry: Think of all the possibilities, Norm! [Colin starts laughing to himself] Imagine, a world with...[doesn't realize that Colin is now the anchor] Hey, what's going on? [some applause]...Imagine...hold on! Imagine a world, uh...of - with an endless supply of hot dogs! You could have a hot dog anytime you wanted!

 

Colin: Well, Harry, you can do that pretty much now.

 

Harry: They'd be so abundant, they'd become our currency! 20 hot dogs would equal roughly a nickel. Depending on the strength of the yen, I'm not quite sure, but...you know what, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's just keep praying that we can clone one of these hot dogs.

 

Colin: [sighs] All right, Harry. What else happened in '97?

 

Harry: Hey, Norm! Did you gain weight?

 

Colin: Actually, Harry, I'm Colin.

 

Harry Caray: Hey! If you were a hot dog...and you were starving, would you eat yourself?

 

Colin Quinn: What?

 

Harry: I know I would! First, I'd smother myself with brown mustard and relish. I'd be so delicious!...So would you?

 

Colin: I don't know.

 

Harry: Don't jerk me around, Norm! It's a simple question! A baby could answer it! If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself?

 

Colin: I guess so.

 

Harry: Oh, you made a wise choice, my friend! If you had said no, I would have bitten your ear off! I would have come at you like a tornado made of arms and teeth. And - and fingernails.

[Renegangsta 0]

"He who controls the past commands the future. He who commands the future conquers the past."-Kane

[Cygnus X-1 12]

"You cannot kill the Messiah" - Kane, 2047

 

:n:

[Luk3us 63]

He said that in TS too I think at teh start of the GDI campagin. Well something very simliar to that anyway.

[Cygnus X-1 12]

Yes, but the newer one is much more exciting 8)

[MagicYuri 0]

I think this one is rather known (not to mention true):

 

"A lie told a hundret times over becomes fact" - Joseph Gebbels

 

Just don't take me for a nazi or anything . Oh and here's a good one(regarding FPS games):

 

"A reload is like a full bladder, it always shows up at the wrong time" - a personal friend of mine

 

And my personal favorite:

 

"Life is brutal and full of traps that sometimes may kick you in the a$$" - my history teacher

[Acerz492 1]

Funny quotes eh? Some good ones originate from WoW all the time. Like this one:

 

"THAT'S FIFTY DKP MINUS!"

 

If you want to know where that one comes from, Google "Minus 50 DKP" and you should get it. :wink:

[Cygnus X-1 12]

"Gentlemen, its valentine's day. Now go home and go out on a date, play with your dog, organize your history texts...or whatever it is that you do on Valentine's day" - Mr. Z (my history teacher last year)

 

"Boys, if you want to impress your teachers, your boss, your girlfriend, you gotta learn to marinate your meat." - Mr. Z (again)

[MagicYuri 0]

"every non-sense has it's sense" - what makes no sense at all , a polish language teacher, not mine.